that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize