you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
