Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
