we have pet lesbian snakes
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
