I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He shit in the fireplace
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
