I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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