I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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