you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
