We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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