he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
