it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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