How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
