so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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