oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
