i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
do nipples grow back?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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