is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
