I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You're so nebulous sometimes
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i used baking grease as lip gloss
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
