she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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