then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
