the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i out mim tonsoeep
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