I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
