oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
