He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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