Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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