This girl is more easily done than said...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
