I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize