you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize