she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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