It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
