if only i could text you this smell
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
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