I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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