so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
