kristin has been a bad kristin
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
