so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
