is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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