shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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