i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
