the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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