I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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