Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
