Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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