Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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