Just fell off a train. Bad.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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