More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
