as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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