FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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