# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
