I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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