didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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