This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
