Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
