I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
