you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize