im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize