I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
