I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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