he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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