You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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