I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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