Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
