I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
