As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
