**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
